The twinkling lights are up, festive music plays everywhere, and social media feeds overflow with picture-perfect celebrations. Yet for many people, this season brings complicated emotions rather than pure joy. If you’re feeling unexpectedly sad, anxious, or overwhelmed during what’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” you might be experiencing the holiday blues. Still question – what are the holiday blues? You have come to the right place.
What Are the Holiday Blues?
Holiday blues describe feelings of sadness, isolation, low energy, or generally feeling out of sorts during the holiday season. While the cultural expectation is that everyone should feel merry and bright, the reality is quite different for many of us. Nearly 90 percent of American adults report feeling stress during the holidays, according to a 2023 poll from the American Psychological Association. Your what are the holiday blues question is solved.
Dr. Anna Costakis, director of psychiatry residency training at Northwell Staten Island University Hospital, explains that these feelings are common and distinct from clinical depression or anxiety disorders. “The blues tend to be confined to a temporary situation like the holidays that triggers our down or cranky feelings, whereas clinical depression involves a more extended period of time with a cluster of depressive symptoms that can significantly affect our functioning,” notes Dr. Vanessa Kennedy, director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery. Let’s take a deep dive into those pesky triggers, shall we?
Common Triggers of Holiday Blues
Unrealistic Expectations
We often picture a “perfect” holiday season—complete with ideal family gatherings, meaningful traditions, and Instagram-worthy moments. When reality falls short, disappointment leads to feelings of inadequacy or sadness. As Dr. Ken Duckworth, chief medical officer for the National Alliance on Mental Illness, observes, “People have expectations of what the holidays should be,” creating intense pressure that only drain the joy from the season. Try not to over commit during holidays.
Overcommitment and Schedule Changes
The holiday season often brings:
- An overwhelming to-do list of shopping, decorating, and cooking
- Multiple social events requiring time and energy
- Disrupted sleep and exercise routines
- Increased consumption of rich foods and alcohol
These changes to your normal routine leaves you feeling physically drained and emotionally unprepared to handle stress. No one is except from unexpected loss and grief. We all have been there, trust me. After lossing my father years ago, I bearly made it through highschool. It was a major blow; both physially and emotionally. The overall family grief seemed unbearable at the time.
Holiday gatherings can be complicated by:
Family Dynamics and Grief
- Family tensions and difficult conversations
- Political disagreements or conflicting values
- Grief over loved ones who have passed or relationships that have changed
- Painful memories of past holiday experiences
For those grieving a loss, empty chairs at the dinner table can make the absence of loved ones especially noticeable during this traditional family time. Social media is helpful on one hand. However, it was triggering for me after my family loss.
Social Comparison and Loneliness
Social media platforms showcase seemingly perfect celebrations that may trigger feelings of inadequacy. “We see all over social media that everyone looks so happy and content and picture-perfect,” Dr. Costakis explains. “It makes people feel sad if they aren’t exactly where they feel they ‘should be.'”
Holiday blues is particularly challenging for those who:
- Live far from family
- Cannot travel home
- Have limited social connections
- Are newly single or divorced
- Are at a financial loss as well
Financial Stress
The commercialization of the holidays creates financial pressure through:
- Gift-giving expectations
- Hosting expensive meals
- Travel costs
- Decorating expenses
These financial demands cause significant anxiety, especially when money is already tight. For many people, the daylight savings time brings another layer of stress.
Seasonal Changes
The holiday season in many regions coincides with shorter days and less sunlight, which affects mood and energy levels. This seasonal shift contributes to feelings of lethargy and sadness. Holiday blues has no respect of persons. Anyone is game.
Who Gets Affected by Holiday Blues?
Holiday blues affects anyone regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, or economic status. Even those with no history of mental health challenges might find themselves feeling uncharacteristically sad or anxious.
However, people with existing mental health conditions may be more vulnerable. “The more mental health struggles you have, the more predisposed you are to this,” explains Dr. Costakis. Research shows that more than 40 percent of people diagnosed with depression will experience a recurrent episode, and holiday stressors can sometimes trigger these recurrences. Here is a list of strategies to consider.
8 Effective Strategies for Managing Holiday Blues
1. Set Clear Boundaries
Give yourself permission to:
- Decline invitations when you need rest
- Leave gatherings early if they become overwhelming
- Avoid difficult interactions at family events
- Take breaks when you need them
Prioritize your wellbeing by establishing and maintaining boundaries that protect your mental health.
2. Learn From Past Holiday Experiences
The holiday season returns each year, giving you the opportunity to adjust based on previous experiences. Dr. Duckworth recommends reflecting on past holidays to identify what worked and what didn’t. Consider:
- Which events brought joy and which caused stress?
- How can you minimize difficult interactions?
- What traditions are worth keeping, and which may be modified?
3. Maintain Your Regular Routine
Try to preserve your normal healthy habits:
- Stick to regular sleep schedules when possible
- Continue your exercise routine
- Eat nutritious meals alongside holiday treats
- Limit alcohol consumption, especially if you’re feeling down
- Take time for your regular self-care practices
4. Share Your Feelings
Talking about your emotions can provide significant relief:
- Connect with understanding friends who won’t dismiss your feelings
- Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor
- Remember that many others experience similar challenges during the holidays
- Join support groups where you can share experiences with others facing similar struggles
5. Limit Social Media Exposure
Seeing carefully curated holiday moments can intensify feelings of inadequacy:
- Set time limits for social media use
- Remember that posts show highlights, not complete reality
- Focus on genuine in-person connections
- Consider a temporary break from platforms that trigger negative comparisons
6. Create and Stick to a Budget
Financial strain can significantly worsen holiday stress:
- Determine your holiday spending limit in advance
- Look for meaningful gifts that don’t require large expenditures
- Consider homemade gifts or shared experiences instead of purchased items
- Explore alternatives like gift exchanges that reduce the number of presents needed
7. Focus on What Truly Matters
Shift your focus from perfection to meaning:
- Identify what genuinely brings you joy during the season
- Create realistic expectations that align with your values
- Remember that meaningful connection matters more than perfect execution
- As Dr. Duckworth suggests, “Consider the possibility that you’re doing okay, even if you’re not measuring up to some media-driven, commercial-driven ideal.”
8. Plan Ahead for Self-Care
Build stress-reduction into your holiday schedule:
- Schedule regular exercise or meditation sessions
- Plan post-holiday activities to look forward to
- Build in recovery time after major events
- Consider a vacation or staycation after the holidays
When to Seek Professional Help
For most people, holiday blues subside once regular routines resume. However, if symptoms persist or intensify, professional support may be needed.
Signs That Professional Help Is Needed
Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if you experience:
- Persistent feelings of sadness lasting more than two weeks
- Significant changes in sleep patterns or appetite
- Loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Thoughts of self-harm or feeling that life isn’t worth living
If you’re already working with a mental health provider, Dr. Kennedy recommends checking in before the holidays to discuss potential adjustments to your treatment plan, such as increasing therapy sessions.
Available Support Resources
Help is always available, even during the holidays:
- 988 – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for immediate crisis support
- Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 for support via text messaging
- SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) – Information about local support resources
- Warmline.org – Provides numbers for non-crisis peer support in your state
- Online therapy platforms – For convenient access to professional help
Mastering Anxiety During the Holidays
Creating a balanced holiday experience requires intentional strategies:
Set Realistic Holiday Goals
Acknowledge your limitations regarding time, energy, and resources. Rather than attempting to attend every event or recreate elaborate celebrations seen on social media, select activities that align with your actual capacity and priorities.
Allow Traditions to Evolve
Recognize that circumstances change over time due to family dynamics, health considerations, or life transitions. Being open to modifying traditions allows new meaningful practices to emerge while preserving the core spirit of holiday celebrations.
Prioritize Experiences Over Perfection
Shift attention from surface-level details to genuine connections. Instead of stressing over perfectly wrapped presents or elaborate decorations, focus on quality time and authentic interactions that create lasting memories.
Create Flexible Plans
Develop plans that adapt to changing circumstances to prevent disappointment when things don’t go exactly as envisioned. Building in buffer time and alternate options ensures that unexpected changes don’t derail your entire holiday experience. Also, stay close to family and friends. They are a supportive safety net.
The Power of Social Support
Social connections provide essential emotional anchoring during challenging times:
Build a Diverse Support Network
Cultivate meaningful relationships beyond your immediate family to provide different perspectives and types of support, reducing overdependence on any single relationship.
Join Community Groups
Participate in community organizations or volunteer activities to meet people who share your interests or values. These settings naturally facilitate connections while allowing you to contribute to causes you care about.
Engage in Group Activities
Join sports teams, fitness classes, art workshops, or hobby groups that provide structured, enjoyable settings for social interaction. Regular participation often leads to natural friendship formation through shared experiences.
Maintain Regular Contact with Friends
Make consistent effort to keep relationships strong by reaching out regularly through calls, messages, or in-person meetings to share experiences and provide mutual support.
Consider Support Groups
Connect with others facing similar challenges through peer support groups. These provide understanding, practical advice, and encouragement from people who truly understand your situation through firsthand experience. Tomemanagement is the next item for discussion.
Effective Time Management for the Holidays
Strategic time management can help maintain balance during this busy season:
Schedule Self-Care Periods
Make self-care non-negotiable by blocking specific times for activities that help you recharge, such as meditation, exercise, or quiet reading time.
Plan Holiday Activities in Advance
Take a proactive approach by mapping out significant events and tasks well ahead of time, helping to distribute responsibilities more evenly and reduce last-minute stress.
Build Buffer Time Between Commitments
Avoid scheduling back-to-back events by intentionally leaving gaps that provide breathing room for unexpected delays and mental transitions between different types of activities.
Learn to Decline Excessive Obligations
Recognize that your time and energy are finite resources. Practice politely saying “no” to invitations or requests that would overextend you, allowing you to fully engage with the activities that truly matter.
Financial Planning Strategies
Thoughtful financial planning helps maintain stability during this potentially expensive season:
Create a Realistic Holiday Budget
Carefully assess your current financial situation to determine how much you can comfortably spend without incurring debt. Account for all holiday-related expenses including decorations, food, travel, and entertainment—not just gifts.
Plan Gift-Giving Strategies Early
Take advantage of sales throughout the year, compare prices across retailers, and avoid last-minute impulse purchases that often lead to overspending. Early planning also allows time to order items online and wait for better deals.
Consider Alternative Gift Approaches
Organize a Secret Santa exchange, set up homemade gift workshops, or give shared experiences rather than material items. These alternatives can significantly reduce financial pressure while often creating more meaningful memories.
Maintain Emergency Funds
Keep a separate emergency fund available, as unexpected expenses arise more frequently during this busy season. This ensures that holiday spending won’t compromise your ability to handle unforeseen circumstances.
The Takeaway
- The holiday season, while joyful for many, brings complicated emotions for others
- Holiday blues—characterized by temporary feelings of sadness, stress, or anxiety—affect many people
- Common triggers include family dynamics, financial pressure, unrealistic expectations, and seasonal changes
- Effective management strategies include setting boundaries, maintaining routines, and focusing on meaningful connections
- When feelings persist beyond the holiday season or significantly impact functioning, professional help is beneficial
- With thoughtful planning and self-care, you can create a holiday experience that honors your emotional wellbeing
Remember that struggling during “the most wonderful time of the year” is common and understandable. By acknowledging your feelings, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate the season with greater ease and even discover new sources of genuine joy.
About the Author:
Health Coach at mybluegenes.com
Contact: rachele@mybluegenes.com